Starting and Running a Home Business Alone! (Email 13)

Starting and Running a Home Business Alone! My Second Big Mistake, “My 2 Year Old Mentality!”

What in the world am I talking about now?  If you have raised children you know what I
am talking about very well.  Can you remember the first time your child said, “I can do it my-self?”

If I remember right when I left off in the last email of this series I just blamed you as being one that played a big part in my next biggest mistake I made that about made me give up Internet Marketing right after I found out that there was a lot of money to be made.

Well it might not have been you specifically but, my customers and also my JV partners played a very big part in this.

I also know from experience that something very similar will have a major effect on you as well if you decide to listen.

I began answering support and found many of my customers wanting to know if I thought I could have gotten the same results as I just did without the support and help of my coach.

Seems like a pretty innocent question to ask.  They just wanted validation from me telling them that they were going to be able to get the same amazing results if they
followed the instructions of the course they just bought.

Something else I was seeing and hearing was coming from other successful marketers I was networking with.

Again it was completely innocent (MOST OF IT) but it had a negative effect with the way my mind was functioning at the time.

(I say, “Most of it” because there were some very vicious people out there and still are.)

I would go to an event and several marketers were congratulating me on my launch.  They were also making remarks about how awesome it was to have a successful Son to help me get those results.

Again all of this was completely innocent but here is what was happening inside of my mind.

“You better go forward very carefully from this point on because they are correct, you only are where you’re at today because of your coach.  Without him you would still be
back struggling to pay your bills and about to lose everything.

And probably the biggest challenge I faced was when my mind began to tell me I needed to prove to every one of these folks that I perceived as telling me I was only successful because of my coach, that I could do it all by myself without Keith’s help or theirs.

Keith even made it easy for me to make this decision without even knowing it.

He just put almost a month on hold from his own business to help me get started and he let me know after my launch that he had to get things going again, and get his own business caught back up to where it needed to be.

My mind ignored the part where he said He would be there if I needed him; all I had to do was pick up the phone.

Well now I had all of the ingredients to lead me down a well-traveled path by so many that fail.

I was angry because I was hearing, “We do not believe in you, and you are going to fail on your own!”

I was feeling bad because I heard, “Dad I really don’t have time to help you right now because I just put everything on hold for you, and my own business is suffering!”

So I started down a path over the next 6 months trying to do it, “ALL BY MYSELF!” What a two year old mentality that was!

I was going to prove once and for all to them all that I was capable of being successful in life without the help of anyone.

This was a big mistake and I really learned some valuable lessons from this thinking in the next few months that would really propel my business forward in a mighty way.

What I want you to see here is that our mind sometimes hears things and will twist them around in order to protect us from any kind of pain.

Were these folks really saying I was not going to be successful now?

Not really.  That is just what I was hearing and I began to ask questions to myself like, “Can I really do this?” “Can I really afford to not go get another job so I can have a
regular paycheck coming in again?”  Am I really smart enough to run my own business, especially one that involves a computer that I know nothing about?”

The excuses just began to flood my mind and they restricted me for over 5 months.

That’s how long it took me by myself to get another product out on the market that most look at as a failure.  But we will save that story for later when we are talking about your irresistible offer and over-delivering value.

What I really want you to see is that for the next 5 months I prevented myself from making the money I deserved to make and was capable of making.

Trying to prevent more pain in my life just led me right back to the same place I had started before my coach’s help.  I was right back to wondering how I was going to pay my bills and all the phone calls from creditors began once again.

What would have happened if I would have begun to focus on the success I had already had instead of dwelling on the possibility of failure?

What if I would have instead, thought about the fact that I just wrote a 67 page eBook in a couple weeks and got it ready for my product.

Maybe I should have stopped to think that I just went to my first offline event experience and met an incredible lineup of speakers that I could now network with and that had just taught me some incredible methods of making money online.

What about the fact that because of that event I heard how to do interviews properly and it gave me the courage to step up to the plate and overcome some serious fears and interviews 5 experts that I included in my product.

That was a serious victory for me if you would have known me before I started this.

What if I would have stopped to think that it was help that got me to the place I was at that point and it was help that was going to get me to even greater places in my brand new life.

Everything had been set into motion and was lining up perfectly for me to enter a new chapter in my life that had the capabilities of allowing me to have something that I had always seen other people having and wished I was good enough to have myself. “Financial Freedom” It was right there for me to take and yet I couldn’t claim it.

Why was that?  It took me a long time before I figured it out and the whole time my coach was screaming the answer.

You have to develop a new way of thinking.  You have to develop a new mindset and “STOP” listening to the old thoughts going on inside.  It is time to develop a brand new way of thinking.

Now I mentioned it took me 5 months to create and launch my next product.

So how do you think I did?

Let me ask you a question that might help you answer that.

How well are you doing trying to do it all on your own?

How well are you doing even if you’re in a coaching program that you’re paying for and you refuse to participate in, in order for you to get the help you really need?

Well I take that back.  Many participate they just participate all wrong.  You find plenty of time to get in a forum and complain about the lack of help and to inform the coach about their lack of participation in helping you to grow your business, or to tell him or her about
something they could do to help improve the site but you never take that time to really participate properly, in order for you to get the help you really need.

You tell your coach or mentor that you need help and that they are failing to see that, but you don’t tell them how you need help.  You just say, “I need help in everything.”

Instead of focusing on what your coach is telling you is your first step, you look at the first step as something that is not going to get you immediate results, and you begin focusing on the whole total picture of everything that you think or heard needs done, and it freaks you out because it looks so overwhelming, and you take off running.

I know this for a fact and here is how I know.  Paul Counts, Eric Holmlund, and I have a
coaching program called Real Guys Coaching, and we gave out a 30 day product creation challenge to our members and out of the hundreds in the program only about 10 people started out participating, and about 6 actually really rose to the challenge and are about to launch their first product.  One of them is actually getting traffic and making a few sales.

The rest participated by telling us how we are not helping them, or not participating at all.  I totally get it, and understand why because that was me.  I chose to not participate in a way that I could continue to grow and learn the knowledge I needed, that would continue to grow my business.

I found many excuses as to why I was failing so I didn’t have to put the blame on myself, and I started to continually look for the next best thing that came along thinking that the last product I bought was junk or was not what I needed, and that must be the answer to why I was failing.

I even told everyone that asked me how I was doing and wanting to help that I was doing great and I would let them know when I needed their help.

I started out on my next product to launch, and instead of looking at one step at a time, I looked at everything that I just went through and wondered how I was going to get it all done when I didn’t understand most of it yet.

I basically spent the next few months staring at my computer screen paralyzed in fear wondering how I was going to survive and I ended up right back at the same place, with all the same worries as I had before my first successful launch.

One day something changed and things started to finally show some promise.

I guess I better save that for next time though.

You have a great day and continue to stand in your greatness!

Jeff Wellman

PS: I am going to share a couple things in my next email that totally changed my business and it is going to also explain why the 6 going through our
Real Guys coaching program that are getting results, are getting the results and why so many others are not.

I am going to take you right up to my very next product launch, “The Millionaire Boss.”  What a priceless learning experience I am about to take you through.

Was The Millionaire Boss a success or a failure?

3 thoughts on “Starting and Running a Home Business Alone! (Email 13)

  1. WOW, Nothing like a slap in the face to wake you up.
    I see so much of myself in what you are talking about in this post. Some things I would just rather forget were ever a part of me but, I have to be careful because they are still a part of me and will rise up again unless I am diligent.

    I recall the first product I created as part of one of your programs. I thought I had done such a great job and was genuinely upset when I did not win. Now I look back at the half hearted effort I made and it is no wonder I missed out. I have learned much from you since then and am no longer blaming anyone but myself for where I am having to come from. I am going to give it some thought and see if I can figure out how to blame you though, I mean after all, you did just blame me right? {;-0}

    Thank you for all you have taught me, even when you may not have been aware you were.

    Many Blessings,
    Dr. Clyde

  2. Holy crap Jeff…it’s not too often that a blog post slaps me in the face like this. It is really comforting to read about someone who has become successful also had the same problems I am dealing with when they first got started online. I really appreciate your transparency and honesty.

    I look forward to getting your emails because they always make me take a closer look at myself
    and my growth as a marketer. I can resonate a lot with this post in how you got paralyzed looking at the big picture instead of doing one thing at a time until your next project was complete(good to know I’m not the only one who does that).

    Great stuff here Jeff, I can’t wait for the next episode in your saga to success.

    Thanks for sharing your struggles…it helps to know we aren’t alone in this IM jungle.

    Bob Harmon

  3. Jeff,
    Thanks for sharing your insight and experience on the overwhelm of getting started online. I know that I have been in overwhelm for about a year. Thanks to you, I am starting to learn to focus and finish the next task. Then, I move on to the next one. It really is the way to become successful. One foot in front of the other works every time. I would have liked to participated in the 30 day challenge, but I was too busy with my first interview series. I could have broken away and got distracted by the 30 day challenge, but I know that it would have wrecked my launch. I am staying on target and finishing this. Keep me in line and headed in the right direction. I appreciate your coaching and look forward to a successful launch! :)

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